In A State
from the at-least-i'm-in-one department.
written by alan on November 16, 2008

Last night was fun. I experienced a feeling which I haven't experienced for almost 2 years, and it was fantastic. Now, of course, I want more. :) Sadly, if it happens again with this one, it won't go very far. I fear we have way too many things diferent between us. Besides, she's too young. I'm still wary of what happened the last time I dated someone that I deemed "young". Oh yes, it was grand for a while, but it ended badly. I really don't want to repeat that.

So I'm sitting here at Pearson waiting for my flight back to New Jersey to board. It's already been delayed once - for two hours, no less - and i'm lookin for something to fill my time. I shouldn't have left my book at home. :(

Back to what has occupied my thoughts for the last day (give or take). What I experienced last night reassured me that those feelings can still be felt and that they still feel as good now as they did the first time I felt them. However, when I stop to think about the one I'm currently after, I have a doubt that she'll elicit the same emotional response in me. From what I've seen, it doesn't seem to be her M.O. I hope she proves me wrong in the near future. I quite liked what I felt, and I'd like to feel the same from her.

I was almost beside myself when it happened, to tell you the truth. It really did happen out of nowhere. I didn't expect it at all. But then again, I didn't expect an extra person to be around in the apartment when I got back from Toronto yesterday. The whole event also reassurred me that I can pick up on the signs when they are dropped my way. In this case, there were only a couple, but something in the back of my mind clicked and decided to hold on to them. It turns out I was correct. :)

So, when I say I want more, I mean I want more of last night simply because I liked how it felt. It apparently doesn't matter who I get more with, as long as they're into me. They'd have to be in order to make it feel the way it did. I really hope I can schedule some more time with Mandi soon. I'm taking my time with her, but I would really like to step t up a bit, assuming she's down with that.

The net result of all this is that I'll be a bit depressio for the next few days as I work this all out of my system. I'll essentially be heads-down for work all week, so that should take my mind off of things. Maybe I'll not expect anything for next weekend and this will happen again. One can only hope.

I still want more "young love".

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