Inner Life
from the no-creativity-left department.
written by alan on December 03, 2002

Music: Airbase - Genie / Echoes of Sound - Need Somebody (Whippenberg Remix) / Planisphere - Hosanna

Once again, i apologize profusely for not updating. I rarely feel like doing much else, other than working and sleeping. I've got so many things to do, and i don;t want to do any of them. I just want to have work & free time...thats it. I still have projects on the side to do, another certification to write, a language to learn, and a major trip to prepare for.

Work certainly does take its toll. I'm usually all thought out by the end of the day. I use all of my creative energies in creating solutions for work that i have none left for the things I want to do. Hence i'm looking forward to my trip down south in a little over a month. It'll be so awesome to just spend time with a few friends without having to worry about my life.

So, I suppose I should update you all about my past weekend. I went to the company Christmas party on friday night. It was a total blast! :) Many people, much food, and loads of fun playing lazer tag. Needless to say, my lack of exercise had shown itself during that game. I really got into much so that i had to slow down quite a bit near the end for fear of blacking out. I really need to get back to my exercise regimen. I haven;t done very much of it at all since school ended. I couldn't walk properly for 3 days after that game. It hurt very much, but thankfully the pain has gone.

The next day, I went out on a little date with a friend of mine from university. I figured since we knew each other decently anyways, there'd be no harm in a little date. Well, it was pretty wierd actually. It turns out that we're better off as friends. It was just too uncomfortable for most of that night. This led me to believe that maybe i'm really not ready for a relationship. Perhaps what I need is a really good friend...and maybe that could blossom into a relationship. I still don't know. I realized that I'm still very new to the whole concept of dating. I've only done it 3 times in my life (including last saturday). There are very few women who want to date me...and while i have no big beef about it (you don't _have_ to date me, but i'd like it if you would), its kinda crappy when one of them actually does. To them, i'd seem very slow about things. I'm not really comfortable doing very much except paying for dinner and engaging in other chivalrous or romantic acts. Hell, the furthest we got on that night was a bloody hug the next day! How's that for slow? I really like to take my time and make sure its worth it to go far with someone. The first date is perfect for that, in my mind.

Bleh, enough for now. I must get to starting tonite's live mix. I have to keep practicing up for New Year's Eve. Thats gonna be a doozie! :)

previous | next