from the continuance department.
written by alan on September 27, 2002

Music: t0ast - polarity of water

Today was decent. Much better than most of the days i had this week. My boss is happy. My friends in town are happy. I'm happy...for the most part. Just a few minutes ago I returned from cd shopping with Justin. He'd gotten bored at home and had made his way over here for something to do. So, in the abscence of anything fun, we spent money ;) He picked up two Underworld albums: their latest entitles 'a hundred days off' and their recent live album 'everything, everything'...two very good selections. I picked up an album by Starecase, who is reported to be an excellent electro group, and a promo compilation of UK hardhouse mixed by Vinylgroover. It was that very DJ who made the track that i first spun on a residence-mate's decks back when I was intro to the world of DJ'ing music began there.

To continue from last entry, I had requested the advice of amy on what I should do in my current situation. She suggested that maybe the reason jenn wasn't speaking to me was because she was guilty(?). In any case, amy couldn;t not believe that her not speaking to me much was not intentional. I certainly couldn't confirm or deny that,nor could i confirm or deny that she felt guilt over anything, but it did get me thinking a bit. I, of course, brought up the reality that even if I were to persue her further, the truth was that I'm not there. I won't be around her physically, and this will certainly not help. The pain is still there, however. If these feelings I have for her are true indeed, then something must be done. There's no way i'm going to take this kind of pain thru my life just because I couldn't be there for someone I really cared about. No, something must be done. I don;t know what as yet, but I will know sometime. Perhaps I should ask molly for her opinion. She's as close to jenn as i can get. Maybe her perspective will help. Lets hope...

Until this can be sorted out, I'll have to resume my usual. Listening to music, studying for school, watching the occasional tv program, and doing the (almost) daily coffee routine with my friends. Its not much, but someday soon it should get a bit more interesting. Again, i can only hope...

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