from the with-all-the-trimmings department.
written by alan on October 17, 2002

Music: Bent - Swollen / Portishead - Glory Box (Live) / Interpol - Untitled / Royksopp - Remind Me

Remember how I said in a past entry that i'd be making some fundamental changes? One of them never took. I'm still going batty over these stupid human emotions...and its taking its toll; at school, at work (especially), and at home. However, I may be finding the control i need. I've consulted a couple people about my future career and what they had to say was positive...or at least comforting. Everything should start getting better once school is finished. My mom related it to me best today...she said that every time i get in the mode to write a test i get very stressed out. This stress manifests itself in many ways...negative attitude, guilt, jealousy, anger...the list goes on. Let's just say, its never a good thing.

At least i'm finding calm now. The show which i went to last night was AMAZING. If any of you have seen the UK group Underworld perform live, you'll know what i mean. They were about the best group i've ever seen live. Everyone was going completely nuts when they played. People from all walks of life were dancing and shouting together as this incredible duo put on their finest music. Truly, this is a group to support. Buy their albums now! They won't disaapoint. As well, today I went for a little dinner with my mom...something we do every now and again. Its great to just sit back with a pint and talk about whatever. She rules :) She's always had a very realistic view of things. Guess where i got the basis for my viewpoints, eh? Its only fitting that I find some peace in what she has to say. She gives it to me straight-up...just how i like it.

Yet another thing to mention about Jenn...i don't think i even make her smile anymore. If i do, it eludes me. How can someone possibly be interested in a person who doesn;t even make them feel the slightest bit happy. I mean, i've often wondered what a totally 'intellectual' relationship would be like. Cold...possibly emotion, just pure thought. Understanding, yes...but no way to express it. There needs to be an emotional side to things. Humans are teeming with emotion...we need to express it. Emotivism, people...thats what its about. Understanding is only one part of a relationship...certainly not the basis. So, now we have Communication, Emotions, and Understanding being the key things to a relationship. And guess what? The latter two both tie in to communication. Its like the first rule for starting a small business...location, location, location. Hence i postulate the first (and golden) rule for a relationship is communication, communication, communication. Except that 'communication' isn't as specific as location...there's much more to it than that. Its quite broad. Perhaps later i'll examine that. Yes, that sounds like a good thing(tm). So i leave with a lyric:

''I will surprise you sometime. I'll come out...when you're down.'' -- Interpol - ''Untitled''

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