The State
from the union-address department.
written by alan on August 27, 2002

Music: Aril Brikha - Aqua

*sigh* This is really starting to eat at me. After engaging in an interesting conversation with jenn, i paused to study the image before me. Although her webcam wans;t set to highest quality, it was enough for me to see what i needed. I was absolutely stunned. Just the smoothness and curvature of her facial features was absolutely awesome. I was staring at beauty. It was quite the sight. But then, you'd need to be me to understand. But then another thing set in. Jealousy. But lo, more feelings set in. A whole mixture of thought...not just the aforementioned. Once again it seems to me like i'm trying to make another possibly futile maneuver. This, folks, is what i can't stand. When do i know if the situation isn;t hopeless? I know i place too much emotion on things like this...after all, we're emotional creatues. Some just manifest it in different ways. I get attached to things. Not obsessive attached, but comfortable attached.

I sit here wondering if i fit the bill for anyone. Sure i might have some of the specs on target, but am i totally on spec for anyone tho? And then of course no one's in the mood to discuss petty emotional things like that. It even offends people when brought up. To think that someone could take an interest in someone else. What an offence this is. *shakes head* Too many thought here...must slow down.

Maybe the wedding thing isn;t a good idea. Maybe i could just stay where i'm confortable and never take any risk. Just do what i'm used to and make that i can of ths one-shot-deal existance. This is a pretty important thing to think about. I need to devote rational thought to this one. As well as some carefully sought opinions. Blargh!

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