the party spirit
from the party...bonus! department.
written by alan on September 14, 2002

Music: Radiohead - How To Disappear Completely / Motion Picture Soundtrack / Idiotheque

Tonite, I will have a social function at my place of residence. For all of you into ebonics, the correct translation would be 'par-tay in da hiz-ouse'. ;) Its supposed to be a happy time when many people interact with each other. So, why do I not feel happy? To be honest, I'm never really happy when i have parties. There's always something missing. Most likely its the companionship that i am questing for. But i think it may be something else. What the french call a certain....i don't know what. Maybe its because no one likes when i play my music. Perhaps they think i'm showing off? On some level i'm sure i am, but i guess i just want their attention. I don;t get much of that anyhow.

And there's certainly no point in trying to 'pick up' at any of my functions...not just because there's usually no one to pick up, but because they're rarely interested. I mean, who the hell wants to be with me...something i'm sure they ask themselves all the time. I let this slide, however...there's no point getting depressed about that. Where will that lead you anyways? Nowhere. *sigh*

Hopefully this one will go smoothly. I really don't wanna get depressed again...its starting to affect my life, and i'm tired of it doing so.

previous | next